Cry out of the Wilderness

 I thought I had some, now is all that matters is relation. To the world to others to myself.

Maybe at some point while going around venerating qualities that are not virtuous nor progressive nor positive in any way other than self-aggrandizement, you know, those who take advantage of their successes and don't share with others hoarding it all.

Was I wrong not to fight in that arena, could I take pleasure in it, could I try?

Is it that I just want to be one of them, the sheltered the common the craven the muggles the idolaters, greasing up whatever ladder they can find after they've already climbed it, the simple, the sane?

 I never understood the politics of use, people objects things maybe because it is so ingrained in me.

Nobody's perfect no person no place no thing. Living with Grace amidst the opposites, there's a future that I can plan they say, chalices of vision aligning to...

Never tell anyone your plans, I heard once upon a Time.

To make your Mark on the trail or leave no Trace. You see how torn I am?

Okay okay go back to the assemblage point watch from there. Perhaps even plan from there, design a life?

Stuchen Free

Here in this honky tonk little house of mirrors. I knew that I would continue to feel these ill-effects if I stayed where I was.

Am.

 4 D 3D5D. 6D a dollar!

And you know them silicone boys will get it. 

Meanwhile:

The kitty had to roost somewhere a little quieter rather than with the krazy dog and the little Napoleon doggy. 

And I was a good mark wasn't I, wasn't I?

 I found how absolutely wrapped around a paw I can be.

Meanwhile I remember those times in Seattle, during the Nirvana years, when we all would collaborate with promise, it was beautiful yet my head was void of future. No plans just the present.  A trifle hedonistic, a dash of divinity.

And the company I was keeping blew my mind how lovely how expensive they were.

Open. Hearted and mind.

And I had boundaries. It came in short bursts.

I was evolving I knew it another bolt of understanding opening up my mind to relations with people, having boundaries knowing the games played and somehow not choosing that awareness as a constant. Was I trading my career in like a car? Then,

what happened all hell happened.

It fell apart. No forward action.

Stasis and stupidity.

To start that again, 

Start it up,

is a dream a fantasy,

Of recurring nightmare of delusions of grandeur. Not mine personally but the play The stupid plays that I've been trying to communicate my spirit experience with. So dopey. Too revealing . Please people don't ever do this. People are ready when they're ready and you ain't going to make them more ready by talking at them and having them run away.

 Does it even matter?

 does it influence

              the choices

       The feel like ....

I have to make and strive and strain in order to survive?

And what is survival? Is it different than prosperity?

God how a Taurus heart loves the stasis, the stable, the secure. 

So,  messing with 

                         movement.

I'm here we are here we are all here in this pause before the final countdown.

 And the thing to remember the thing is not to go all thinging, the thing is to evolve again, Even though your red neck will chafe.

  awake arise awake arise

Once upon a time there was a princess... 

Dragging the Infiltrator out by his red tie.

Oh man so guilty so damn guilty but you know he's the crime boss so yeah.

But I don't mean to get political what am I talking about?

Poetry literature things like that.

Soul stuff.

Sadly lacking in a media frenzy.

Yet I still recover and uncover the mysteries I once was so conversant with.

How could I have suffered such amnesia,

The depth of forgetting.

And you know nothing really has changed I still need 2 ferret out as a separate being

how to navigate in this world. What happened to let go let God?

I'm a that's what happens Lord when you let me get this dumb.

"It's your fault' my Catholic crisis counselor admonishes.

If God is in control of everything what the hell?

See I sound like a teenager who's just discovered... discovered there are other people out there but has no way to reach them.

I'll kneel. I'm no Lord. I'm not a Bolton a Stark, my mother had me on a lark.

So I'm moving to another residence I want to which one we're....

What did you say your name was, Gary asks for the third time today Oh I am sorry, am I in your way? Namaste.

Oceans Warming

The Beginning

It's all starting to show. How any parent can say they love their children when they ruin their future with such impunity Of course, mostly unconsciously. Bronze age mentality. Driving a car that spews carbon into the atmosphere. We all do it, it's rarely questioned.

By 2050 the oceans will be dead. Already we see the signs.

And still we do nothing.

Into Lewis and Clark caverns

A beautiful sunny day in Montana. 

Perfect time to go from 90 degrees to 54, into the caverns.

Start by reading the signs:

Then go Below.

And back out into the day via a tunnel made by the Conservation Corps years ago!